The thing about podcasts is sometimes they're true, and this week the guys truly went to hell and back watching Ghost Rider (2007).
Why is Eva Mendes acting like she has the mind of a three-year-old in this movie? Is this movie just messing with us by saying stuff like "demons can't go on holy ground" and cutting to a bunch of demons going to church? Why isn't Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider a sure-fire recipe for movie gold?
I was going to finish the rest of this blog entry, but this is as far as I go. From here out, you're on your own or whatever. Welp. See ya!
Enter into our Clown-Bird-Ice-Lair and help us flush it and flaunt it as the guys watch 1992's Christmas classic, Batman Returns.
Why does this movie have a bigger budget than the first one but only one set? You meet a psycho-murderer crime boss who's very sensitive about his bird-like deformities and all you think to do is give him a raw fish like he's a seal? Is this entire movie just an extended meditation on oppression by, and aspiring to, authority?
In all seriousness though? As great as Michelle Pfeiffer's performance as Catwoman is, there is way more going on around her in this movie than we noticed in 1992. It's worth a rewatch just for the meticulous deconstruction of patriarchy and feminism in her arc.
Honestly, want an in-depth exploration this movie's othering of femaleness and its subsequent violent reaction in the context of a heteronormative society? Check out this episode! Want jokes? That's here too! But you're probably better off with our Power Rangers episode, maybe. Just a warning.
The guys test their Thorthiness and see if they are equal to the task of lifting the mighty Marvel mintroduction-to-characters-that-will-be-important-in-a-later-movie, Thor (2011).
Does this movie hold the worst line reading, of the worst line, in the history of cinematic entertainment? What are the mechanics of Mjolnir; like if I put a brick on the gas pedal of a truck and sent it at Thor's hammer, could the truck move it, not being a sentient object? I'm sorry Anthony, what did you say is the central theme to this film?
It is my job guard the entrance to this episode... but I may forsake mine sworn oath and let you listen to it. If you are worthy. Or if he to whom I owe fealty is shown to be corrupt. Or if I am not in the mood to guard things. Or if you ask nicely. Or forcefully. Whatever.
Get ready kids, cause this ain't yer Daddy's Spider-Man! Oh wait, actually it is. Reboot nothing, we're watching The Amazing Spider-Man! Of the seventies!
Were the people in the seventies so laissez-faire with personal safety they were just handing out flamethrowers and had EMTs just standing there to watch car crash victims suffer? Where does this tv movie get off having one of the most spectacular stunts we've seen in a superhero film to date? And what's a guy gotta do to borrow $46 around here?
Wealth and fame/ He's ignored./ Action is/ probably too much excitement. Pack up your allergy pills, Spider-fans! It's time for some web-slinging, slow-moving, cult-joining, mighty meandering Marvel action!!